Family Matters
by Mean Faol Banrigh
Summary: this is a crack series about aizen, gin, and the 'kids' a.k.a the lil espada Rating changed due to Nnoitora's angry language
1. Chapter 1

Grimmjows hair stuck out like a sore thumb in the darkness "Daddy" he said tugging on the maroon blanket.

"Hmm" was the sleepy response.

"I can't sleep... can I sleep with you"

A pair of bright green eyes popped up over the form of the sleeping shinigami "Kitties don't get to sleep with daddy"

Grimmjow frowned at his 'brother' and gripped his panther plushy tighter "Who asked you"

"Daddy is asleep and I was here first"

"Mommy"

"What Grimmy"

"Ulquiorra is being an ass"

The silver haired man (a/n: HAHA GIN BE THE MOMMY) rose and looked down at the blue haired toddler "That's a bad word Grimmy"

"I'm sorry" he replied though he stuck his tongue out at Ulquiorra none the less

"M'kay... now... climb in bed... Ya'll need to get to sleep"

"Okay Mommy" Grimmjow proceeded to climb on the bed and lay down between 'Mommy' and 'Daddy', as far from Ulquiorra as he could get.

"Trash" hissed Ulquiorra

"Emo"

"Souske" 'Mommy' mumbled

"What gin"

"Make your sons stop fighting"

"They're yours before dawn"

"There's no morning in hueco mundo" he whined

"I know"


	2. Cookies

"Hurry up pinky" Nnoitora whined to Szayel

"Im going as fast as I can"

"Well it's not fast enough"

"Done" Szayel said

"So what's the plan?"

-5 minutes of Szayel explaining his overly complicated plan later-

"That it?"

"Uh huh"

"Okay.. Lets go" Nnoitora said before climbing up to the vent and dropping one end of the jump rope to Szayel who climbed up it and led the escapade through the heating ducts.

"Were here" he whispered before opening the vent over the counter and letting Nnoitora drop down and look to see is Aizen was still reading the paper in the living room before dropping down himself "Help me get on top of the fridge"

"Fine" Nnoitora huffed and got on all fours letting Szayel stand on his back "Hurry up"

Szayel scrambled to get on top and when he did crawled to the cow shaped jar opening it. Grabbing one of the chocolaty treasures inside, he went to take a bite of one

"Drop the cookie and step away from the cookie jar" the pink haired toddler winced and looked at his father only to see that he was still reading the paper


	3. Blame

Aizen twitched slightly "What happened here?"

"HE DID IT!!!" a chourus of eight voices yelled, pointing at Stark.

"Don't accuse your brother! He's never awake!"

"But he did! REALLY!!!" Grimmjow scowled.

"Grimmy, what did I tell you about lying?" Gin scolded.

"HE'S NOT LYING THISH TIME!!!" Nnoitora exclaimed.

"He's been asleep the entire time Nnoitora." Aizen sighed.

"ASHK ULQUIORRA!!!"

Aizen sighed "Ulquiorra, is Grimmjow telling the truth?"

"Grimmjow is a pafalogical liar"

Grimmjow's jaw dropped "I hate you!" he whined.

Aizen sighed. "You're all grounded until someone confesses." he said before leading the dog out.

~10 minutes later~

Stark sat up and blinked a few times "Where's my puppy?" he demanded.


	4. Kids Ruin Everything

Warning, this one is without a doubt AU! Oh, and its the left one. You'll understand in mere minutes xDD

* * *

Aizen hummed to himself as he finished prepareing the dinner, trying his best to ignore the sounds of quite a few of the fifteen children giving their 'Uncle' Barragan, hell over the fact that he wouldn't let them watch a movie, likely some symbolic Disney bastardization of a historical event, or Balto if Starrk had a say.

Sighing he took the rack of lamb out of the oven and on the table, taking his white apron off and heading off to go to the basement where the children where playing/protesting against Barragan. "All right everyone, settle down, Gin is almost home, so find a place to sit down and I'll pick out a movie for you to watch."

Barragan sighed "I don't know how you do it." he muttered to himself

After they had all got settled Aizen looked at them all, trying to recall how they had gotten that many. Tesla, Grimmjow, D-roy and Ulquiorra were on the couch with D-roy and Tesla between the other two boys lest they start fighting; IlForte, Halibel, Lillinette and Neliel were all sitting by Starrk, who was asleep on a cover that had been bunched up at the end to form a make-shift pillow; Zommari was sitting between the twins on the love seat, Aaro on his right and Neiro on his left, with Yammi sitting down on the floor infront of the love seat, the dog they ended up keeping laying in his lap.

"Where are Szayel and Nnoitora?" he asked, looking at Barragan.

"In the back room playing." Sighing Aizen made a solemn vow that there would be no more adopting as he walked over and retrieved Edward Scissorhands from the movie shelf and went to put it in the DVD player.

Taking the remote he handed it to Barragan "Just keep them down here and quite." He said before going back upstairs, hearing the door open and rushing to light the candles and turn down the kitchen lights.

"Sousuke? Where ya at?" Gin asked curiously, his foot steps sounding lightly on the floor as he walked through the living room.

"In the kitchen Gin" Aizen replied, standing so the candles lit up his form against the black backing of the kitchen.

"Where's the ki- oh" Gin stopped in the kitchen door, mild suprise lighting up his face when he saw the scene before him, "Sousuke..."

"They're downstairs watching a movie, Nnoitora's in his room." Aizen smiled, walking around the table and wrapping his arms around Gin, kissing his neck lightly before a scream made his eyes widen and Gin's open, the two rushing to the door of basement and down the stairs

"HOW DID YOU POKE YOUR EYE OUT?" they heard the babysitter demand.

Aizen and Gin looked at each other before looking down the hall **"Nnoitora!"**

* * *

I have NOTHING against Disney, my favorite movies are Disney movies! I know every line of TLK and every song from Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, and Pocahontas! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOR AIZENS OPINION ON DISNEY!


	5. Kick ball?

This is a continuation of the last chapter, poor Nnoitora, now we get to have a little fun with his sudden lack of an eye and consequently, lack of... DEPTH PERCEPTION~ =3

* * *

Nnoitora sat on the porch, looking out at his 'brothers' as they played kick ball, glaring slightly as he rubbed the eye patch covering his now non-existant left eye. "Stupid dick wads..." He muttered.

Starrk looked over from his napping place on the back porch swing "Hey, Nnoi..."

Nnoitora looked over, glare increasing "What?"

"If you don't go out and play you're never gonna get used to playing without an eye..." the brunette said, yawning and sitting up.

"I know that!" the lanky boy replied "But I ain't got used to not having an eye yet!"

"Well then go out there and do both" the older boy fluffed his pillow and layed back down.

Nnoitora huffed and resumed looking out at the others, watching as the teams switched. From the looks of it, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow where the team captains, and on Ulquiorra's team was Tesla, D-roy, Yammi, Neliel and Neiro. Grimmjow's team consisted of IlForte, Halibel, Lillinette, Zommari and Aaro. Szayel was standing to the side keeping score. The neighbor brats Ichigo and Ogichi were catching and rolling, so even with Nnoitora and Stark sitting out they were managing.

Nnoitora stood up and rubbed the palm of his hand against the eye patch before putting his hair up in a loose pony tail as he went over to home plate, pushing Grimmjow out of the way and giving white haired Kurosaki twin a glare when he noticed he was staring.

"Eh? What happened to your eye?" Ogichi asked, tossing the ball from one hand to the other.

Nnoitora scowled "Nunya fucking business!" he snapped angrily "Jus' roll tha damn ball!"

Ogichi shrugged and rolled the ball at Nnoitora before cackleing when the other boy missed.

"SHUT THE HELL UP" Nnoitora snapped, snatching the large blue rubber ball from Ichigo before he could throw it back to Ogichi and beaming it at the still cackling Kurosaki's head, a satisfied smirk appearing on his face when the force knocked the smaller male back wards, a small whimper at the pain sounding before he broke out in tears, his nose bleeding, the red a stark contrast to his pale skin. Nnoitora sneered at him and stomped inside, slamming the screen door behind him and ignoring the panicked noises of the Kurosaki duo.

* * *

O.O Nnoi's got some unresolved anger issues... Maybe he should have thrown the ball at Szayel, its his fault anyway xD


End file.
